Dashain is a time of family reunions and celebrations across Nepal, with loved ones returning home from abroad or other parts of the country. But behind the joy, women in many households say the festival season brings them more stress and responsibility than happiness.
In Tikapur, as in many other places, traditional gender roles mean women carry the bulk of household duties-cooking, cleaning, and serving guests-while men are often seen relaxing, playing cards, or socializing.
Sadhana Saud of Bhajani municipality, whose husband returned home after two years abroad, shared mixed feelings. “I’m happy he’s back, but the workload is overwhelming. Our house is full of guests. I start my day at 4 am and don’t stop until 11 pm. I had planned to spend time with him, but I can’t even manage a few hours,” she said.
Draupadi Timilsina of Tikapur echoed the experience, saying women are constantly rushing during festivals. “You’ll see women cleaning, cooking, and attending to everyone, while men are out enjoying themselves. It’s the same every year,” she said. However, she considers herself fortunate because her husband helps share responsibilities, which makes the workload more manageable.
For working women, the burden is even heavier. Janaki Kuwar said balancing a job and festive duties is nearly impossible without family support. “If the family doesn’t step up, the festival becomes a burden rather than a celebration,” she remarked.
Rights activists have also voiced concerns. Chandrawati Sharma criticized the social norm that normalizes men drinking and gambling while women handle all domestic tasks. “Festivals are meant for everyone, but unequal responsibilities often lead to disputes and conflicts at home,” she said. Another activist, Kaushalya Khanal, stressed that the traditional division of labor is rooted in patriarchy and violates women’s rights. “We need to raise children with the value of shared responsibility, regardless of gender,” she said.
Health professional Hema Gyawali offered a reminder for women not to forget self-care during the festival rush. “It’s okay to take time for yourself, rest, do yoga, or just breathe. Festivals should not come at the cost of women’s health. Joy should be shared equally among all family members,” she emphasized.
As Dashain continues, many argue that true celebration comes not just from rituals, but from equality-when household duties, expenses, and decisions are shared, bringing harmony to families and communities alike.
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